


in one of the millions of universes

by davesstrand



Category: Duran Duran
Genre: M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, i'm definitely going to hell with that moody stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:01:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25285777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/davesstrand/pseuds/davesstrand
Summary: He will not go beyond the line that breaks his peace and separates him from Nick.
Relationships: Simon Le Bon/Nick Rhodes
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	in one of the millions of universes

**Author's Note:**

> if you find this extremely necessary, you can always judge me and my works on my twitter: @ davesstrand

It would've been much easier for Simon to put a bullet in his head before he would allow his own words to take full control of his will.

In him, the risk prevails in an unacceptable amount. It's the risk of being rejected, the risk of being thrown into someone else's court — his once-righteous faith in justice is gradually weakening under the onslaught of despair and fear that is coming every day. His sin becomes more mysterious and painful to him.

His body and tongue won't listen to him. He does things he doesn't want to do. He says things that he would never have dared to say in his life — but this is all a risk; an attempt to live according to the laws of his mind.

But, heaven knows, his whole being shakes every single time as he realizes, one of the thousands of times, that he's breathing the same air with Nick.

And after all, if he only wanted this very much, he could give up absolutely everything, give up the realities of this world and finally allow his own selfishness to take full power.

Now he can't just flatter himself and his mind that he lives in the same time and universe as Nick. It's not enough for him to know that he's actually stuck in this time — and he's definitely not alone, but with Nick. And with everyone else, if it needs to be mentioned.

Now he needs the green eyes to linger on him much longer. Now he wants that voice to reach his ears as often as possible. And to have that voice speak to him.

But Simon — he's not an egoist at all. This is just a little game in him, an eternal struggle for existence.

If he only wanted to let himself go into oblivion for a moment, if his desires and thoughts were already too much to bear, he wouldn't remember before or after when he had last seen Nick. And without him, the picture of reality always had to turn gray, and with Nick, it always had to play with colors again. And reality would always deceive Simon, filling his tired mind with hope.

He wants Nick to be there for him before it would storm. He wants Nick to be on his side when the sky will darken. And at a moment when all roads would inevitably and predictably lead directly to a dead end, where all desires and thoughts would disappear, he would want Nick's presence more than usual. But it's selfishness that screams in him.

He will not go beyond the line that breaks his peace and separates him from Nick.

And, as usual, watching his disappearing silhouette somewhere in the distance, Simon understands that his forced distance from Nick is a true attempt not to allow himself to make a mistake. But in one of the millions of universes that Simon was imagining, he and Nick would look at each other very differently. They will speak in a completely different way, and their touch will take on even more color.

In one of the millions of universes, Simon would make a mistake.

But in reality, it will be much easier for him to put a bullet in his head than to say goodbye.

**Author's Note:**

> while writing this misunderstanding, i was listening to the depeche mode's whole black celebration album. so maybe, i hope, one day i'll write something meaningful and dynamic, but i haven't developed my extrasensoric abilities yet, so i don't know anything


End file.
